Daring Greatly
Year: 2012
Author: Brené Brown
Length: 390 minutes / 6.50 hours
You know that meme where someone asks others to just post what their therapist tells them so they don’t have to go to therapy? Well, this book is my answer to that question. My therapist at the time suggested reading Daring Greatly, and I think it helped frame half of the equation when it comes to loneliness. Often, we can self-exclude ourselves from community because we are ashamed of who we are, but Daring Greatly challenges the reader to overcome the fear we have of the potential shame we feel when being vulnerable with others.
Much like Relational Masks highlighted how we use subconscious coping mechanisms to keep others at an arm’s length, Daring Greatly approaches from the other side of the relationship and shows how the fear of vulnerability is holding us back. Sure, there’s a risk we take when we try new things and don’t immediately succeed. Fear of failure can mean we don’t even try because the result is already cemented in our mind’s scenario. Rejection isn’t always about us, so we shouldn’t be ashamed of being our authentic selves if it can lead to truly vulnerable relationships.
The real trick with Daring Greatly that I found was that it’s only truly useful if both sides are at the same level of desiring vulnerability and shedding shame. I often want to rush to the vulnerable part of a friendship because I know how rewarding those kinds of relationships are, which in itself can scare others away because of how quickly I want to get there. Of course, there are also behaviors that are culturally shameful, and there is a difference between guilt and shame that needs to be clearly defined. Even so, Daring Greatly is a good read for anyone struggling to connect with others.
A useful guide for swapping shame with vulnerability, I give Daring Greatly 4.5 stars out of 5.
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